Letter to My Brothers & Sisters


You need to watch this, for brotherly sake: https://youtu.be/HxSAVP-e4Cw?si=c1ELLWT-pN2h41r8

I don't know if this number is still my brother Jerry's or not, I get no more answers. So I don't know if you even bothered to watch that last youtube video I just found,/sent you with that guy talking about why WHY LIFE "might" be the way it's been going for the last 30 some years now... or more. As a deepening believer, with what seems like impeccable faith, every word this guy says in this one video made perfect sense.
... Besides, like I told you, finding out I was "miss-diagnosed" as a child, I don't have a learning disability - I'm Autistic, with ADHD, besides the toxic glues & lead paints I used & breathed as a child she said didn't help much.

...of course being teased all the time at school, 1st grade on, for just about everything from my "chink eyes" to "here comes the retard for the Special Ed class!" 
And then going home to be teased all the time by my 4 older siblings for being too sensitive or weird, even when I got older.
All the way to graduation even... In school, and still by my family (except Mon & Dad). 
Then teased and stalked and harassed by cops my entire life after I started driving and I wanted a cool looking car like my oldest brother had, and do the cool things he did with his cool cars but my last name was already red flagged in their system to watch for. I was trying to fit in and all it did was deepin my manic depression. Dad even asked me back then, way before you all let Mom die, he asked me if I could explain to him what depression was like, because he didn't know or think he ever experienced it he said. I never saw that man cry either it wasn't until Donny died that I first ever seen him break down and cry. Not sure if you remember that. It was shortly after that he came to me and asked me if I remember the time him asking me if I could explain to him what depression was like, ,, well, I said yes of course, and he said, "Well, Gary, I think I know what depression is like now" and he started to cry as he started reaching out to hug me 


People tell me, "you need to move on, and forget all about the past." I say, "Fuck You!"


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